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Sink overflowing with dishes in a messy kitchen - Hope for Moms with a Messy Home

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Hey, mama. I’m Jamie. I help moms like you learn how to reclaim the light inside–that passion for life that sometimes gets swallowed up in the midst of all that mothering requires of us. Let’s work together to find ways to reclaim our true, complete selves in these crazy, exhausting, beautiful years of motherhood. ♥     {Read more…}

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About Jamie

Sometimes when we mother hard, we forget how to be ourselves, too. I'm a mom of four, and while that takes up a lot of my time it's not all I am. I like writing fiction and am learning to watercolor. I love sneaking chocolate in the pantry when my kids aren't looking, and staring up at big white clouds in a blue Texas sky. And I bet you aren't all-mom, either. Let's work together to truly find ourselves in these crazy exhausting beautiful years of motherhood. Read More…

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I hated exercise until August of last year.⁣
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It always felt kind of like a punishment before, something I had to get through to "earn" calories. Which, you know, made it kind of suck.⁣
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I tried working out at the gym, doing Jillian Michaels videos alone in my room, and for a while I even paid for a personal trainer.⁣
.⁣
But it all felt REALLY REALLY HARD, because my attitude about exercise was that I needed to exercise to earn worthiness. That my body was not-good-enough as it was.⁣
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Here's the thing: there is nothing wrong with wanting to be healthier and stronger!⁣
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But my body couldn't magically, immediately transform into healthier-and-stronger just because I worked out for a few days (or weeks, or months).⁣
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And I didn't want to wait until my body was x, y, and to declare it worthy. 𝗜 𝗱𝗶𝗱𝗻'𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴.⁣
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I wanted to live in worthiness 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 I worked for more health and strength.⁣
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The big thing that changed for me was just this: I found a workout option that aligned with that. It's called @momma_strong, and it's one of my favorite places on the internet:⁣
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A new 15 minute HIIT workout every day, lead by the most lovable, strong, down-to-earth mama. A non-Facebook community where you can connect with other mamas and ask any question you want of the MommaStrong Physical Therapist ("Why does my back hurt when I unload dishes?" "Is it normal to pee when I sneeze?" "How to I release this tight muscle?").⁣
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This is totally unsolicited by them--no sponsoring or anything--and I pay my own money for it every month with JOY. It has made my workout mat my safe place.⁣
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If you're looking for a way to fit in a workout more often, and a community that will help you feel like your work counts and your body is worthy 𝘯𝘰𝘸--I cannot recommend it enough. Hope to see you there. 😘
I honestly still can't believe that this is *my* b I honestly still can't believe that this is *my* before/after! 😊 I am so, so proud of this room, and I think it is a huge reason our house sold so quickly (within 2 weeks!) last year.
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I've always loved nesting, but I could never have achieved this room on my own. As @thenester puts it, I was making good decisions--but in the wrong order. Did you even know that was a thing?
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Going through her classes in the Cozy Minimalist Community has taught me all kinds of things, from when to hang my art (not until after the curtains are up! 🤩) to the impact a rug can make on a room (I never would have put a rug over carpet on my own!).
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And most importantly, it's given me a step-by-step formula to create functional, beautiful rooms that works hard for my family--and the confidence to be a little bolder.
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If you've been dreaming of a home that feels more like 𝘺𝘰𝘶, but can't figure out quite how to get there, you couldn't dream up a more affordable, useful, encouraging way to get there than the Cozy Community.
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For just $10 a month (cancelable at any time 😎) you get weekly live classes from NYT bestselling authoress Myquillyn Smith, where she walks you through exactly how to build a room you love--starting with what you already have. You also get a huge library of past live classes from the past two years of Cozy content, and access to the Facebook community where other "Cozies" share inspiration, answer each other's questions, and generally cheer each other on!
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On the fence? 🤔 I have a whole review of the course--including why you maybe 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯'𝘵 join--linked in my profile ( @brightlightmama ) to help you decide! ❤️🌿
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#cozyminimalist #comi #mycozyhome #nestingplace #thecozyminimalist #cozyminimalisthome #cozycommunity #howihome
Dear mama, I know you've got a million things you Dear mama, I know you've got a million things you wish you were doing right or better.⁣
.⁣
I know, because I do, too.⁣
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I wish I was spending daily one-on-one time with each of my four kiddos, reading books to them more regularly, taking more pictures and video. I wish I was a regular library mom, playdate mom, park-going mom. I wish I liked cooking more, that I wrote them monthly notes to read someday when they are older, and that I didn't get headaches from the sheer volume of four happy children making all the joyful (and kind of weird) noises.⁣
.⁣
But when I (all too rarely) pull back and take a look at the 𝗕𝗜𝗚 𝗣𝗜𝗖𝗧𝗨𝗥𝗘, I realize: we're doing it, mama.⁣
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We're raising these babies of ours.⁣
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We're nudging them toward their paths, encouraging them, loving on them. We're teaching them by our words, and by our imperfect examples how to start over when they mess up. How to be brave. How to say I'm sorry. How to keep showing up, even when it feels hard.⁣
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Take a look at your big picture today, mama.⁣
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Look at all you've accomplished, even when you've thought you weren't doing enough. (Even if you, like me, have to fight back that feeling even 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 you celebrate your wins.)⁣
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I know you're tired and discouraged, and parenting is maybe the most uncertain, high-stakes thing you've ever done--but you're doing it.⁣
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Day by day, minute by minute.⁣
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You're doing so much more than you know. ❤⁣
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#honestmotherhood #motherhood #motherhoodrising #uniteinmotherhood #ig_motherhood #dailyparenting #mommylife #workingmom #ohheymama #parenthood #motherhoodunplugged #mothership #momlife #sahm #sahmlife #busymom #parenting #stayathomemom #momsofinstagram #connectingmoms #mummyblogger #motherhoodthroughinstagram #mumblog #humansofjoy #hopewriters #mommylove
You know that friend who always has her own agenda You know that friend who always has her own agenda--and kinda forgets that you have needs to?⁣
.⁣
Tough love time, mama: You might be being 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 kind of friend to your body.⁣
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How many times have you pushed down what your body needed because you had your own agenda? 😬⁣
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Has your body asked for rest, but you've pushed it harder because you're panicked about being able to "do it all." (Psst: Supermoms aren't actually real--I had to hand my kiddo a screen to be able to sit down and type this to you. ❤)⁣
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Has your body said, "I'm hungry," but you've put off eating until later because you're busy, or because an app has told you that your body has had enough calories for today? (Bodies are like wonderful little machines, and they need fuel to keep going!)⁣
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Has your body asked you for quiet, or movement, or sunshine and fresh air--but you've denied it because it seemed to hard to ask for help, to make the time, to make someone else wait while you took care of yourself?⁣
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Here's the thing about bodies, mama: They show up for us even when we're being the very worst friends--but we can't expect to somehow love a friend we don't even listen to.⁣
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I know motherhood is complicated, and sometimes showing up for your body is anything but simple--but you can do it.⁣
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It doesn't have to be big and showy--no spa days or personal trainers required.⁣
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Just start by listening and responding:⁣
Feed it when it is hungry.⁣
Sit down when it is tired.⁣
Wear clothes that feel good.⁣
.⁣
Be your body's friend.⁣
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#bodylove #bodylove4all #bodyconfidence #loveyourbody #momof4 #honormycurves #positivebodyimage #bodyimage #bodyimageresilience #empowerment #empowering #loveyourbody #selfworth #nondiet #selfacceptance #empowerment #bodyacceptance #bodypositivity #bopo #bodyposi #bodydiversity #bodyneutrality #haes #dietculture  #raisingdaughters
I started having panic attacks in the early days o I started having panic attacks in the early days of pandemic lockdown last year, when we couldn't reliably get milk and fresh (or even frozen) produce, we didn't know how the virus spread, and my husband was going into work in the ER during a mask shortage.⁣
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With the kids cooped up inside for much of the day doing "Zoom school," we soon recognized that we all needed an outlet and instituted a mandatory hour of outside time--for ALL of us--before we started our asynchronous school day.⁣
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I've always considered myself kind of "indoorsy," but I quickly came to depend on our little suburban slice of nature to soothe my soul, and, as John Burroughs put it, "have my senses put in order."⁣
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Today your challenge is to do just that. Step outside, even just to stand on the doormat on your porch, or walk down to the mailbox, and take three minutes to 𝗹𝗲𝘁 𝗻𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘀𝗵 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗲𝘀.⁣
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It's easy, in the busyness of adulting, to absorb only what we can 𝘴𝘦𝘦, so I want you to 𝗽𝗮𝘆 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗲𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 *𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿* 𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗲𝘀.⁣
.⁣
𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗱𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹? Warm sun on your hair, a cool breeze on your skin, the weight of a creeping-up summertime humidity or a little chill whispering through the evening air?⁣
.⁣
𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗱𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿? Birdsong rippling through the air? The rustle of leaves shivering in the wind, or the buzz of honeybees?⁣
.⁣
𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗱𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝗺𝗲𝗹𝗹? The floral scent of jasmine, the sharpness of fresh-mown grass, the damp earthy fragrance of soil after rain?⁣
.⁣
Let nature put your senses in order today and 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗯𝗼𝗱𝘆 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗰𝗲𝗶𝘃𝗲 when you give it a little space.⁣
.⁣
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#optoutside #essentialism #slowmotherhood #simplicity #simplifiedliving #motherhoodsimplified #bodyneutrality #motherhoodunplugged #bodyconfidence #loveyourbody #mentalhealth
Toddlers set a beautifully simple example of the b Toddlers set a beautifully simple example of the body connection we all long for.
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They're fully devoted to 𝗯𝗼𝗱𝘆 𝗰𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗼𝘀𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗺𝘀:
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Will my body fit into this cupboard? This basket? This Tupperware?
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What does it feel like to squeeze a whole banana into mush?
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Do I like the taste of Play-doh, Old Spice deodorant, or wood chips from the playground? (Why is the answer to these "Yes!" though, toddlers?)
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Toddlers are 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗱𝗹𝘆 𝗰𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀, and they use their bodies to explore their environment with an enthusiasm that leaves most toddler-mamas exhausted. 😜 
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𝗪𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝗺𝗮𝘀 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗹𝗮𝗶𝗺 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗰𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗼𝘀𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗶𝗻 𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝘃𝗲𝘀.
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Toddler curiosity never comes perfectly packaged:
They're furious that they can't fit their lower body into a Tupperware! They're constantly covered in mud, Crayola markers, or applesauce. And while they will happily devour half a stick of deodorant if left unsupervised while you pee for ONE MINUTE, they 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 scream if you try to feed them a delicious slice of watermelon or a quesadilla served on the wrong color plate.
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We don't have to be perfect in our curiosity either!
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I am consistently fussy when I try to do an exercise that my body is new at (I'm looking at you, diamond pushups, you big jerks), embarrassed when I fumble the keys during piano lessons, and frustrated at how slowly my hands are learning to draw a reasonably good portrait.
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That's okay! Curiosity can be messy. Messy is allowed.
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𝗧𝗼𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝘁𝗼𝗱𝗱𝗹𝗲𝗿-𝗹𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗹 𝗰𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀, and use your body to explore your world more deeply.
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What does the tall grass in your backyard feel like? Do you still dislike blueberries? Can you do a pushup? (If you can't, do you want to learn?)
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Feel the feelings that come with these things, but don't beat yourself up. Just be curious. Wonder. Try. Log that information, and be curious about more things.
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Want a little accountability? Come back here and share your in the comments what you got curious about today!
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#bodylove4all #bodyconfidence #loveyourbody #positivebodyimage #bodyimage #loveyourbody
When you were a little kid, your primary goal was When you were a little kid, your primary goal was to 𝗣𝗟𝗔𝗬 𝗔𝗦 𝗠𝗨𝗖𝗛 𝗔𝗦 𝗣𝗢𝗦𝗦𝗜𝗕𝗟𝗘. You were 100% sure that this was the purpose of your body.
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Not chores, not school, not eating a balanced meal with all the food groups accounted for. Nope. Those were uses of your body (usually spoon-fed to you by grown ups). But to you the purpose of your body was PLAY!
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What do you think is the purpose of your body now?
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To clean up the kitchen again, and go get more groceries? To keep your toddler and/or dog out of the trashcan? To remember everybody's dental appointments and birthdays and shoe sizes?
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These are all noble purposes--but they're not necessarily joyful.
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They might make you feel 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘧𝘶𝘭 for your body in that adulty I-should-feel-grateful way, but they probably don't help you enjoy and connect with your body.
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Play, though? Play is joyful!
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Play lets us appreciate and enjoy living in our bodies.
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𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘆 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂?
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Not the obligatory play-pretend-with-the-kids, but 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 kind of play.
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Look for play you can do 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 you do your adulty stuff, like dancing like a weirdo with some Meghan Trainor in your headphones while you clean the kitchen.
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Look for play you can do JUST FOR THE SAKE OF PLAY--like taking time to draw or cook something just because it sounds fun.
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Look for ways you can use play to connect, like making silly faces at your kid across the dinner table, or saying "Yes" to a tickle fight.
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More fun = more connection with your body, so 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗲 𝘁𝗼𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗮 𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝗣𝗟𝗔𝗬!
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#joyspotting #bodylove #bodylove4all #bodyconfidence #loveyourbody #momof4 #honormycurves #positivebodyimage #bodyimage #bodyimageresilience #empowerment #empowering #loveyourbody #selfworth #nondiet #selfacceptance #empowerment #bodyacceptance #bodypositivity #bopo #bodyposi #bodydiversity #bodyneutrality #haes #dietculture #iweigh #raisingdaughters
Do you ever feel totally angry at or disconnected Do you ever feel totally angry at or disconnected from your body? Like, who even 𝘪𝘴 my body anymore?⁣
.⁣
As women, our relationships with our bodies get incredibly complicated even early on in our lives--and especially when 𝘄𝗲 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗯𝗼𝗱𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗹𝗲𝘁 𝘂𝘀 𝗱𝗼𝘄𝗻.⁣
.⁣
Your might feel angry at and betrayed by your body--maybe you have for years:⁣
.⁣
Because you bled through your clothes when you were a tween, or didn't get your period until so late in life that it was scary, or never got one at all.⁣
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Because your breasts grew too early or too late, too big or too small.⁣
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Because your body didn't match the shapes you idealized, or the strength you hoped you'd have.⁣
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Because you couldn't exercise without using an inhaler.⁣
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Because it carries painful and challenging chronic illness, or needs antidepressants to function better.⁣
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Because it looks so different than people always notice it and talk about it--even tease you about it or turn away from you over it.⁣
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Because it couldn't get pregnant, or couldn't carry your baby full term.⁣
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Because it couldn't produce enough milk to nurse, or because nursing was so painful or difficult that it became impossible.⁣
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Because it didn't "bounce back" after you gave birth, won't get smaller when you want it to, has aches and pains that seem to come from nowhere, doesn't fit into your pre-pregnancy jeans, insists on wearing clothes with a bigger number on the tag.⁣
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So many reasons.⁣
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Last week I confessed that this year I've felt deeply sad about how my body looks. And as I shared about 𝘮𝘺 feelings about my body I realized, all of a sudden, that 𝗜'𝘃𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝗴𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗼𝗱𝘆 𝗜 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗜'𝗱 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴.⁣
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This week we're going to look at gently reconnecting with our bodies. Dipping a toe in the water of re-trusting. Putting into practice our mantra that 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝘂𝗿𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗯𝗼𝗱𝘆 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗹𝗱.⁣
.⁣
𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗯𝗼𝗱𝘆.⁣
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[Photo of me riding my broom "horse" in my shiny robe, circa 1989 😘]
What if you didn't have to earn love by looking be What if you didn't have to earn love by looking better? What if you already are loved as you are--how would that change how you feel in and about your body?⁣
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Could you start living and working from a place of encouragement instead of desperation?⁣
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Could you stop trying to earn your worthiness by changing you body--and just look after it instead?⁣
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This concept from @lysaterkeurst 's book profoundly changed me: "Live from the abundant place that you are loved, and you wont find yourself begging others for scraps of love."⁣
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Until we choose to allow ourselves to receive and accept love 𝙖𝙨 𝙬𝙚 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙣𝙤𝙬, we will continuously, frantically scramble toward an imaginary pinnacle of self that is "worthy."⁣
.⁣
No need to scramble, sweet mama: you are already worthy of love.⁣
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Your challenge now is to bravely open your heart up, and let it in.
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